Articles
Personal Growth: Purpose
Gaining Full Access to The Secret
Manifesting with the Law of Attraction
By Mary Lee LaBay, Ph.D.
Along with the release and promotion of the movie, “The Secret,” the general public has expressed great interest in accessing the powers of the Law of Attraction. This law of nature underlies popular slogans such as “What goes around comes around” and “Ask and you shall receive,” and pop culture paradigms such as the power of positive thinking and replacing all negative thoughts with affirmations.
The Law itself is quite powerful, and appears to be aligned with such physics principals as gravity, magnetism, or the weak atomic force. However, for the individual, harnessing the force of this Law may take more than an attitude adjustment.
Let’s take a look at how this works. We are all successful magicians. Where we are right now in our lives represents the full sum of all our energy, decisions, choices, focus, drive, and passion. Each choice you have made was based on the best resources you had at the time, given the knowledge and circumstances at hand. You have manifested your life to be exactly what it is.
You already have proven to yourself that you know how to manifest—and yet how do you feel about where you are? What has led you to making the choices that you have made? What has held you back from achieving even more in your life?
There are ways to focus and increase the power that will set you on course to achieve goals higher than you have accomplished to date. It will first take a deeper look at our present perceptions and thought patterns.
I sat down with my girlfriend to watch The Secret for the third time. When we began to discuss the movie, she stated that she wanted to use the Law of Attraction to move out of this city. In her words, “I can’t believe I have been here so long. I just want to get out of here.”
Although we have both studied personal growth for decades, the movie served as a reminder of a very basic principle. As is clearly instructed in the movie, her very words are what would prevent her from getting what she wants. I pointed out to her that when she made that statement, the picture that formed in my head was that she is stuck where she is. I saw her feet in a cement-like substance and she was unable to move forward. I proceeded to ask her where she would rather be. She responded that she hadn’t figured that out yet. She only knew that she wanted out of here.
She quickly determined that she had given herself a double dose of staying put right here, right now. Her mental picture was an image of being stuck, and she had no other destination in mind.
The Law of Attraction is powerful, and the premises set forth in the movie are sound. Yet, it appears that for people of all walks of life, whether studious in their efforts for self-improvement or on their path without a map, the way to access this beneficial force may be out of reach without some thoughtful attention.
We can see that the Law of Attraction is not so different from the Power of Positive Thinking. And yet, saying affirmations were not enough to put most people on the road to health, success and happiness. So what is missing?
It is well-founded in behavioral research that everything we choose to do has a secondary gain involved. By secondary gain we mean there is a benefit that is derived from whatever behavior or choice we make, no matter how negative or self-sabotaging it appears to be.
When we smoke a cigarette that we know will harm our health, when we eat junk food knowing what it will do to our bodies and our weight, when we get angry enough to start a fist fight in a bar, we have a payoff that is just as grounded in our being as when we show up for work on time. Remember, everything we do, whether healthy or not, has a benefit to some deeper need within us.
As these secondary gains are uncovered, you will become more fully apprised of any ulterior motives, whether hidden or overt, that will serve to sabotage efforts towards healing or forward progress. Therefore, it is strongly advised to uncover these secondary gains early in any issue, returning to this tool each time a new topic or goal is addressed.
To uncover these hidden motivators, just answer the following four questions. It is important to focus on one issue at a time, and be as openly honest in your responses as possible. You may be surprised at what you learn!
1. What does having (this condition) allow you to do?
2. What does having (this condition) prevent you from doing?
3. What would not having (this condition) allow you to do?
4. What would not having (this condition) prevent you from doing?
Simply understanding what motivates your self-sabotaging behaviors—and even negative thought patterns—may not fully release you from the obstacles that prevent you from manifesting your goals in life through the Law of Attraction. However, it will allow you to become more fully aware of the obstacles—and your Self! Perhaps in this way, you can begin to find ways to extinguish the energy of that self-defeating behavior, and move fully into achieving your greatest dreams.
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