Articles
Personal Growth: Purpose
Fear-Based Problems in Everyday Life
Philosophical Misconceptions
By Mary Lee LaBay, Ph.D.
Note: In this series of articles on philosophical misconceptions, we will look at the perspective within the practices of Awareness Engineering, as well as those held by many great thinkers throughout history. I have compiled a number of misconceptions into three categories: Fear Based, Semantics Confusion, and Under-developed Philosophy. To understand all three, please read each of the separate articles.
Our presence in life is marked by two fundamental, irreplaceable factors: Existence and Consciousness. Our spirit/soul is that which exists. Our consciousness is that which allows us to be aware that we exist. Life requires both. Life’s purpose, at its most basic, is the maintenance, nurturing, and growth of our existence and consciousness. Lack of attention to this purpose will cause atrophy and perhaps eventual loss.
Leaders of modern thought assert that our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies—which are at the root of behaviors, perceptions, reactions, habits, symptoms, and more—provide concise and exquisite communications from our subconscious aspects. They inform us, whether by a whisper or a scream, of the needs required by our consciousness and existence for survival and growth, and give indications of how and where we have strayed from the path of our soul.
When we become aware of these signals it is because we are experiencing stress, illness, disease, and dysfunctional conditions in our relationships and in other areas of our lives. At the base of these symptoms lies a misalignment with reality; something in our relationship with truth has gone awry.
Let’s look at some of the fundamental issues that are frequently uncovered in my research and with my clients. I categorize them as falling into one of the following categories: Fear Based, Semantics Confusion, and Under-developed Philosophy.
Fear Based
Oftentimes that which we fear never actually takes place. We spend a lifetime fearing some eventuality that never arrives. It has also been discovered that we fear in wild disproportion to what might actually occur if life were to go in that direction. And the bottom line is that none of the fear—and the resulting anxiety, worry, distraction of it all—really does any good. In most cases, it reduces our ability to be intuitive or even present in our lives, and it leads to serious deterioration of our health and, particularly, our immune system.
As we learn from the Law of Attraction, our power of imagination may be such that we actually bring about the thing that we fear. Either way, we live in a state of generalized misery while hoping to avoid anticipated misery. Does this sound rational?
Fear is different from fright. Fright is a here and now reaction to an immediate threat that requires you to take action. Fright elicits the flight or fight response and is a natural survival response. Fear, on the other hand, is a nebulous, undefined, projection of possible danger in the future that may or may not come to pass. It, too, keeps us in the flight or fight response, however, there is nothing to fight, and therefore, the brain and body no longer distinguish the real from the anticipated.
Change
• Change is a good thing—you go first
• Required for growth and improvement. If everything remained static, there would be no possibility for a raise, a better job, that new relationship, weight loss, and other goals.
Trust
• Trusting yourself does not require that you are vulnerable to others.
• Everyone demonstrates their true values and virtues, it is up to each of us to recognize and act on that information. When we do, we learn to trust ourselves, which is the greatest sense of security.
Control Issues
• Control issues arise when we do not trust that we can handle events and experiences that show up in our lives. Attempting to control nature, reality, or others, is an impossible endeavor, based in fear of incompetence and low self-image. A better method is to look at the possibilities and be prepared—learn martial arts, get in shape, create better boundaries, gain knowledge and skills.
• We can only ethically control ourselves—not others. Attempting to control others rarely produces the results that are truly desired.
Guilt and Innocence
• How does guilt run your life and shape your decisions? Who or what is creating the feelings of guilt?
• Guilt has one purpose. It provides information that makes us aware that we may have done something that is counter to reality or our personal philosophy. If it is true, then a correction must be made as rapidly as possible. And then the guilt can be dropped. If the feeling is found to be false—that there is no reason to feel guilty—then, again, there is no purpose in maintaining that feeling.
• No one can disarm an innocent person. To be truly innocent is a strong and grounded state of being.
Duty, Responsibility, and Obligation
• Duty, responsibility, and obligation are irrational and require that a person negate their value system. When a person acts based on duty, it implies that their value system would dictate a different course of action. Instead of choosing for their own best interests, they are acting counter to their values and virtues.
• Free choice is the only proper relationship to one’s life and values. Decisions and actions based on personal values and supported by the ability to practice clear virtues, results in health, happiness, and sustainability.
• Would you rather have someone do something for you out of duty or obligation, or do you prefer they do it because it gives them pleasure to participate? What do you imagine the difference in energy would feel like between those two scenarios?
When you become aware that your life is being driven by such fear-based misconceptions, there are many ways to resolve the problem. Awareness is certainly a significant first step. You may then apply Secondary Gains and other Awareness Engineering techniques. The final important step is to take action to make the correction.
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©1999-2010 Mary Lee LaBay. All rights reserved.
