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Personal Growth: Purpose

Tips for Living Large - Part III

Discover Hidden Motivations

By Mary Lee LaBay, Ph.D.

Part Three

In Parts One and Two, we explored how to determine what is really valuable to our lives, and the ways in which we limit ourselves from living fully and as grandly as we could or would like to. Continuing on this theme, we will explore our underlying motivations for creating our limitations. Awareness Engineering combines contemporary healing techniques, quantum reality concepts, ancient disciplines and philosophy to help individuals uncover these answers.

Secondary Gains

Also known as "the pay off", Secondary Gains is a strategy that assists us in determining what motivates our behaviors and symptoms, even when they are self-destructive. It is a swift and elegant approach to working with self-sabotage, blocks, illness, addictions, pain, and nearly every decision or quandary in life.

Anytime you sense that something is not right in your life, this technique will allow you to quickly gain access to the roots of these blocks. It is important to approach this exercise with honesty and be open to previously unknown information.

Choose one issue and ask yourself these four questions:

In what way is (this behavior) a benefit to you?
In what way is (this behavior) a detriment to your life?
In what way would not doing (this behavior) be a benefit to your life?
In what way would not doing (this behavior) be a detriment to your life?

The answers to these question will likely bring up interesting information about yourself that you can ponder for a long time to come. It may make you curious about how to satisfy these motivating factors in a different and healthier way.

In Part Four of this series, we will explore techniques that assist you in rapidly moving forward toward your new goals, allowing you to gain comfort and familiarity with aligning yourself with your preferred way of living in the world.

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