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Personal Growth: Purpose

Order and Chaos

By Mary Lee LaBay, Ph.D.

Do you feel restricted by your self-imposed schedule, or are you lost in a sea of chaos in your life? With all the Spring cleaning going on, there are no doubt many of us who are focusing on how much chaos we have allowed into our lives and how much order seems reasonable or necessary. As we look at our homes, offices, and drawers, they can be just a metaphor for the same effects that are occuring in our internal experience.

We all know people who are distinctly orderly - they have a place for everything and everything in its place. Then there are those of us who are comfortable with a bit more chaos - all the way to total chaos.

In a recent session with a client, we discovered that during depression and grief she had allowed her life to move over into a more chaotic state, letting things fall into disrepair and become messy. Then, as her emotions and perspectives started to come together, she noticed that she was becoming overly concerned with putting structure and order in her life.

During our discussion and session, we discovered that there is a wonderful balance that is necessary in life, a middle ground that lies between the extremes of order and chaos, structure and flow.

As the session developed, we compared life to many other systems - the structure of a flagpole that allows a flag to move freely in the wind, the structure of discipline that allows children to play creatively and safely, or the structure of a festival that allows the participants to "go with the flow". Systems need structure, or order, and they also need the freedom of movement, creativity, flow, and a bit of messy chaos.

As we move into the Summer months, we are more inclined to think of being playful, going on vacation or to the beach. It is a perfect time to consider your personal style of moving from order to chaos. In what ways are you finding balance between the structure of your life and the flow of your creative, playful self? What about that works for you and what about that needs to be adjusted? How much of the structure or flow is dictated by others, and how much control do you have over that? What steps can you take to bring any imbalances back into a healthy zone?

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