Everyone talks of New Year’s resolutions. It is a tradition to “resolve” to make a change for the better at the beginning of a new year.
But are you resolved? And do you need to make a resolution?
Let’s look at what that means. I’ll employ a little etymology to help us.
Resolution is a derivation of resolve, which comes from solve or solution.
To solve is to disburse, dissipate, break down, or unfasten. In math, and in life, we solve problems. And when we talk about a solution, we refer to the answer to that problem. We can also use that word to refer to a chemical reaction that breaks down and dissolves the parts, such as saline solution. The salt molecule is untied, unfastened, from its original state and becomes disbursed.
Resolve is similar, but with a little twist. To resolve is to relax, separate into components, decide upon, determine. It also incorporates the concepts of firmness, and a fixedness of purpose.
Getting juicy, isn’t it?
Resolve can evolve into a resolution, right? And a resolution is a decision. Think about how we use the term in photos and computer screens. A higher resolution means more pixels, which in turn means a clearer picture. Higher resolution = higher clarity.
I’m liking that!
So at the turn of the year we assess the condition of our life. We start with a problem we are facing, such as destructive habits like over eating, smoking, substance abuse, procrastination, self-criticism, or giving away our personal power.
We look for a solution that will mitigate the problem. We resolve to do things differently, to take care of our health and our wealth, to create boundaries with others and our own negative self-talk. We put the stake in the ground, draw a line in sand, and plant our feet. We are ready for a new day, a new life.
It’s exciting, an adventure, a positive focus and aim!
So here are some interesting statistics I found on Statistic Brain. The seven top resolutions for 2014 were Lose Weight, Get Organized, Spend Less/Save More, Enjoy Life to the Fullest, Stay Fit and Healthy, Learn Something Exciting, Quit Smoking.
According to their research, 8% of people making resolutions actually achieve them. 24% of those surveyed said they have never achieved their goals. Those are bleak numbers for such a popular tradition.
There may be a number of reasons why this occurs. My hypothesis is that one of two things may have occurred.
Lack of real resolve. The decision hasn’t been honestly made. To truly decide upon or make a determination leaves no room for changing your mind. If you can or do change your mind, then you didn’t actually make the decision. When you make a decision that goes against your habits, your will, your desires, your way of life, it is going to be extremely difficult to use only sheer willpower (or wishes) to forge ahead. It is necessary to dissolve first—to untie and unfasten yourself from the problematic behavior. Release, let go!
But even this will be difficult if the math is wrong! Are you solving the wrong problem?
Overeating, smoking, or being reactive is not the problem. These are only symptoms. To finally be rid of the unwanted symptoms, you have to identify the true problem by going much deeper into the causation. There is a secondary gain for every behavior—a deeper need that is being fulfilled, whether consciously known or not. As long as the deeper root, and secondary gains, are in place, it will be a frustrating battle to keep your stated resolution.
Maybe the most useful resolution for the new year is to decide to seek help from someone who can guide you to the deeper roots of the issue, and quickly and finally give you the solution to the real problem!
In 2014 I have had the honor of assisting my cherished clients in resolving these challenges (among many more):
Limiting beliefs: possessiveness, insecurity, overly sensitive, self-sabotage, people pleasing, needing approval from others, being stuck, fear to express self, undeserving, writers block, worthiness, shame
Health: anxiety, stress, hair pulling, smoking, procrastination, space clearing and decluttering, substance abuse, addressing cancer, eczema, back pain, neck pain, foot issues, depression, insomnia, nail biting, OCD, allergies
Wealth consciousness: sound business decisions, removing blocks to success, finding balance, resolving issues with co-workers, career changes, preparation for retirement, confidence to create a business, feelings of lack and not deserving, hoarding
Relationships: childhood abuse, sexual abuse, clearer communications, making healthier choices in mates and friends, dysfunctional family issues, regaining personal power, clear boundaries, decisions to leave inappropriate relationship, rebuild a failing marriage, create a peaceful separation, social anxiety, decisions to get into a relationship, sexual preference issues, bullying, self-awareness, grief and loss
Spirituality: meet and speak with spiritual guides, multitudes of past life memories, discovering life purpose, changing aspects, correcting philosophical misunderstandings and confusion, developing personal value systems, psychic self-defense, resolving spirit attachment, soul retrieval, wisdom messages from the higher self, discover their bliss state, self-denial, recovering from religious indoctrination, rewrite spiritual contracts, attaining the first spiritual experience, enhancing intuition.
Wow! It was a big year of healing and change!
I am humbly honored to have been a part of the journey for so many of you. You are brave, courageous, and very smart. You asked for help to get to the real root of your issues so there was no resolution necessary. Once the change is made you simply have a new way of life.
Now go out and enjoy your life to the very fullest! All the best wishes for all of you in 2015!